Site translation - FREAKING cool!

For a while I translated my blog posts (by hand) into portuguese, because I wanted Camila's friends and family to have access to our site. But 2 problems:

1) Few of her friends or family use the internet.
2) It was so hard to translate into a language that I'm still becoming familiar with.

So the value for the time spent was pretty small. In fact I stopped doing it after a while. But then Camila, who is still learning english, has a hard time reading our blog. So yesterday I came across a Google "gadget" that I stuck here on my blog, you'll see it at the bottom of the green column on the right. It's a translation tool. You simply select the language you want, and voi-freakin'-lá! Instantaneous translation!!

I've tested it, and while not all the translations are 100% correct, most of it is spot on, and what isn't, is close enough for the reader to get the gist of what's intended.

Plus, and this is what I'm still geeking out about, you can hover your mouse over any of the tranlsated text and it will show you the original text.


Ceewwwwwwwwwl!


Here's a screen shot of comments left by friends of mine on this post. Mahina said "the guy", and the Google translation was "o cara". "O cara" is slang! How cool is that??! And check it! They give you a link to suggest a better translation....




Freakin' cool! Give it a try, if you speak a language other than english, see what you think about their translations.

Another visa touch!

Click to enlarge the image

Ha! Our application was touched again today! Since I have no way of knowing what is actually causing these date updates, I have to make assumptions. I am assuming that this update means that an adjudicator fetched our application to process it. Approval should be right around the corner!!

Visa approval is almost here!!

This writing can't really convey the excitement I'm feeling right now. This morning I called the California Service Center where our visa application is pending, and the rep I spoke with gave me some very good news!


But not before some bad news...


The bad news he told me is that our applications would be processed according to the date that I submitted the K3. When we applied for my wife's visa, about two months afterward we applied for the K3, which is supposed to allow her to enter the country while her immigrant visa is being processed. But K3's are taking LONGER than the immigrant visa to process. So they've been grouping the two applications together and processing them as a single application. The only problem, is that they stick you in line according to the K3 date, not the date of your original application.


That was the bad news, primarily because my K3 date is two months behind my immigrant visa date!


I told the rep that this wasn't fair, that I expected my apps to be processed according to the immigrant visa date. Usually when I use words like "I expect" with these guys, I get very snooty treatment. But his response took me completely by surprise. Said he:


"Okay. I'll go get your file right now and pass it to an adjudicator for processing."



Said I: "Uh, what?"



Said he: "Yeah sure. Check back soon for an approval."



Had I died and gone to visa heaven? This convo took place while I was driving to work. As soon as I got to work I logged into the USCIS website and checked my case status. At first no change. I refreshed the screen about every 5 minutes and finally, both of my applications showed an update!! That means the guy actually followed through, and my case is now in the hands of someone who will approve it.

Click to enlarge the image

Yeee-freaking-HAW! Okay, actually I'll reserve the Yee-hawing for when the approval arrives.

Google spoof

Here is a list of things I do frequently on Google:

I blog on Google's blogger.com.
I keep my journal on docs.google.com (word doc).
I do my budget on docs.google.com (spreadsheet).
All my photos are hosted on photos.google.com (AKA Picasa).
I use translate.google.com to resolve language barrier issues with my wife.
I use finance.google.com to look up stocks, the value of the dollar, foriegn currencies, etc.
I use maps.google.com to find schtuff.
Even cooler (a word?) is Google Earth!
I've used news.google.com to catch up on the news, although this one I don't do often, because I hate the news now-a-days.
I use images.google.com when I need a picture of something.
And of course, I use google.com to search for schtuff.
I haven't caved yet to use google's gmail , but perhaps someday...

So I thought this spoof on Google was very funny...

Took a nasty fall

... and landed in the St. Vincents emergency room for 5 hours last night. That's my spine there, and thank goodness nothing was broken. But you wouldn't know it for as bad as it hurt. I was darting down my carpeted stairs in socks, when my feet flew out from under me, and I landed square on my lower back on the bottom step. My roommate drove me to the hospital.

I came home doped up on vicadin and muscle relaxers. My poor wife was up all night worried, because in the hospital I didn't have any cell coverage to call her. She called my roommate, who used spanish to explain that I was okay, but imagine how horrible that was for her to be so far away and know that I was in the emergency room. I think she suffered more than I did....




<Mental note: do not dart down stairs in socks.>... I think that's one of those "should have learned in 1st grade" things.

My Prophet

President Gordon B. Hinkley, prophet of my Church, passed away tonight. He was 97 years old, and loved by millions. While I can't think of anyone more prepared to go than he was, it was sad news to receive. He's been serving in the presidency of the church for as long as I can remember, and was such an amazing man and leader. He had an endearing personality and was able to connect with the members of the Church in a very personal way. He had a self-depricating kind of humor that made us regular folk feel like he was truly on our level.

I never met him in person, but heard him speak many many times, and felt the power of his testimony of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ. He always encouraged us as members of the Church to "stand a little taller".

I can only imagine what a beautiful thing it must be for him to feel the warm embrace of his Savior and mine, and to be reunited with his wife who has been waiting for him. He was such a wonderful prophet, and I will miss him.

Carnival in Brazil

Carnival. The biggest party on earth. The ultimate expression of what it is to be brazilian.

That's the openning line for the video clip below. I don't think my wife agrees with it though. She's not a fan of carnival because she feels the world judges all of brazil based on that one event. When I explain that it's hard for us not to, because that's the most visible thing about brazil, she shakes her head and groans.

Carnival is about to begin. It starts in just 6 days, and runs from Feb 2 thru Feb 5. You may have already known that Carnival is a huge party. But what you may not know is that it's a competition in which samba schools compete with extravagant parade floats that show off their mad skills for over 75,000 spectators in the "samba-drome". The samba, the music, the drums, the costumes, all tell the tale of Brazilian history and culture.

Carnival is mostly known for the scantily clad women that dance on the floats and for the general hedonism of the whole thing. But there's more to Carnival than just that. The following clip is a PG-rated, family-safe production, that show-cases what it's really all about by following one girl as she goes through the experience of performing in the parade.

Enjoy this clip.

1-eyed optometrist

I went to an eye exam Friday afternoon, my first with my new "eye guy". Our insurance changed recently and I had to find someone in their network. I don't wear glasses, but Camila noticed that one of my lids was lower than the other one and made me promise I'd see someone about it.

(I'm just falling apart, doesn't she get that?...)


So imagine my surprise when the guy came out to greet me and his right eye was looking at his left one. Ummm..... I was notably worried. And in my usual way, I asked about it. If you know me, I don't usually hold back on stuff like that. Said I, "Doc, please don't take offense at the question, but I noticed that you have a stray eye, and wondered if you can do your job with that.". He took it well (good, it was meant well), and replied, "Oh sure, this was an injury from my childhood. I've only got one functioning eye."

I usually give folks the benefit of the doubt, so I shrugged my shoulders and went with it. To his credit, he handled the exam okay. He knew how to wave all the fancy wands in front of my eyes and hook the mechanical face to my head to blur my vision. He didn't have any problem jamming the blue orb onto my eyeball to "test the pressure".

I still don't need glasses, have 20-15 vision (better than perfect) in both eyes, and the lid thing was just the way my face is built. But I will never really know without a "second opinion", if my 1-eyed optometrist is capable.

Blogging: a female dominated sport!

I'm a dude who blogs. I have a bunch of women-friends who blog too. I know them from church, and affectionately refer to them as

The "Stepford Bloggers"... You know who you are!


I've been in technology my entire career, and jumped on board with blogging back when it was still short for "web logging" (who knew that?). So I thought I had a hand up when it came to my blog. Then I found that these newbies with no technical expertise were stirring up the most insane activity on their newbie blogs!! It's not uncommon to see the following at the bottom of their posts: "21 people had this to say", "15 people had this to say", "18 comments"..... And they're writing about soup! Or buying jeans! Or doing laundry!

I don't think I've ever seen double-digit comments on any of my posts. How are these newbie home-making mommie bloggers acheiving that kind of response?? At first I took it as a ding to my writing ability. Then this morning, talking to one of the Stepford Bloggers, I had a revelation. Blogging fills that most-basic chick need for chattiness and connectedness.



Aha! Whew...



I don't have to take it personally any more, because now I get it. Imagine all these blogging women together at a party. The kind of chit-chat that would ensue is exactly what you find when you read their posts and comments.

Now imagine their husbands hanging out at the same party. The kind of chit-chat you'd see there is what I get on my posts: mostly bubpkis. Not that I shoot for a male readership, but lets face it, I'm no mommy, and have no kidlets. So I can only offer you posts about plumbing, home improvement projects, balding, becoming unemployed, etc. Where's the fun in that??

In the end, women get the most fulfillment from blogging. Which is why it's a female dominated sport. Now, if ever they move fantasy football to a blog, THAT'S when the field might level out a bit. For now, it is clearly tipped to the chicks.

beep-beep-beep

Cell phones come with a default greeting that plays if you don't record one. I swear there is like, one woman who does all these greetings for all the cell providers in all the world, because I recognize her voice regardless of which carrier I use.

Anyhoo, the first time I heard the equivalent recording in brazil, I laughed. I've recorded it for you to hear too. What you'll hear is a brazilian woman talking really fast, she's telling you that your call has been routed to a voicemail box and to leave a message after the beep.

The part I want you to hear, is the beep. I swear it's the woman who makes the beep. All three of them. Tell me if you agree that this sounds like the woman says "beep-beep-beep" at the end.

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I know I know... I have waay too much time on my hands.

The cookie is always right, right?

This was my fortune tonight at China Bay Restaurant in Beaverton. I think this means that important adjudicators at Immigration central are discussing and approving Camila's visa. I think they're using walkie-talkies, wearing sun glasses (even though they're indoors), and wearing those sqwigly wires behind their ears. Yup.... Important things are goin' down.



Let's keep our fingers crossed that the cookie is right.

How much time does it really take to process a visa?

Remember me saying before that I was trying not to see USCIS as demons from, well you know where? I just found this enlightening interview with an ex-employee of immigration services on www.visajourney.com. The guy, ironically, is now in the process of obtaining a visa for his russian wife. I believe they call that "eating your own dog food"..

Anyhoo, the whole interview is available here. But check out this excerpt on how long it takes to process visa applications, which only serves to solidify my view of USCIS as demons from, well you know where. Keep in mind that Camila and I have waited 6 months for her visa as of yesterday...


Q How long does a "typical" visa application take to process?

I could crank out an "approval" in about 15 minutes depending upon the complexity of the petition. I recall that we'd love to see those large family petitions with the little kids. Why? Because once you clear the mom and dad, the kids went really fast and you could get several "credits" very quickly that way instead of having to do the equal number of "individual" petitions for the same amount of "credits". But you have to be fast and thorough, because its your job to be fast and thorough you might say...



You freakin' gotta be kidding me!....

The funniest commercial!

I generally don't put YouTube schtuff on my blog, but I saw this commercial for monster.com during American Idol and LAUGHED MY BUTT OFF!! It is easily the funniest commercial I've seen in many years. (By the way, for more on how monster.com may play an integral role in my near future, read my recent post on getting laid off)



Enjoy.....

What is proper balding behavior??

I thought I was prepared for this. But as it turns out, I'm freaking out a little. It's my hair. I've reached that stage of thinning (am I being too optimistic? Should I use 'balding'?) where there is a visible track between the back of my head and that smallish tuft of hair toward the front. I've still got just enough hair that if I use the right styling products, I can go with a messy look and you almost don't notice it. Like if I dim the lights above my bathroom mirror and squint, I can't notice it.

But get my head wet and HOLY CRAP! Where did all that scalp come from????


My mind was always made up that when I got here, I would go out gracefully. Not like the guys you see with a comb-over, or the new trend, grow it long and let it hang down. No.... I was going to suck it up and take it like a man.

But now I'm asking myself things like "to Rogaine or not to Rogaine?", "Plugs? Who would notice??"



*Uhg*


I'm not sure what the proper balding behavior is, but when I look at my hair I feel a rather sad emotion not unlike the one I felt when I said goodbye to my Grandma at her funeral. My wife tries to reassure me, but it's stressing me out. Which accounts, I'm sure, for the grey that is making vast territorial gains on the sides of my head. Dagnabid hair!!

Blogging = Goodness

I love that the internet gives us new and powerful ways to connect with others all over the world, and gives us the chance to help and be helped by people we have never even met.


I couldn't agree more!!


This was written by a fellow blogger. You can read his entire blog entry here. I just had to post about his entry, because it showcases that BLOGGING SAVES LIVES.


Well, okay. It at least brightens them up.



And as one who hopes that my writing translates into a smile or a chuckle for at least a few, I loved seeing that in fact, it does happen. The Mahina he writes about is a personal friend of mine, and also a fellow blogger.

We never really know who we touch in the world, through our words or actions. There is so much ickiness available on the internet, it's refreshing when you find genuine goodness on it.

To Don who wrote the above post, and to all my blogging friends, thanks for doing it. It inspires, it uplifts, and it makes me feel more connected.

What to do when laid off.........

What is proper laid-off behavior? I'll have to look it up on wikipedia.

Last week, my last week in Brazil, I called into a meeting that all of our staff in Portland had with some of the big wigs from SAP, the megalith that just purchased Business Objects. They matter-of-factly explained that in light of the fact that they have a product similar but better in most respects than ours, they are discontinuing our product.


As of immediately.



What does that mean for me? Well for starters I'm laid off as of August 31st. They're keeping us around until then for maintenance on our current releases, and to help SAP transition our clients to the new and better SAP one....

I'm not worried. They've extended severence packages and retention bonuses to attract us to stay on through August, so I'll be okay at least through then. My big concern is the impact this might have on our visa process. I can't host someone into the country if I'm not employed. But hopefully the process is finished by August.


If not, I'm going to slit both my wrists........



This has prompted me to give a lot of serious thought to starting a new career. I've been wanting to break out of technology for a long time, but am always torn. Corporate life offers stability, set working hours, bennies, and paid vacation. It's very posh. But then guys like my buddy Mitch (read his wife's blog here) light a fire under me. Mitch is also in technology, and is packing his family and all their belongings off to Utah where he is going to go back to school for construction management. WOW! Talk about a change!! (Mitch, are you sure you're not mid-life crisis-ing?) Whether he is or not, his courage is inspiring.

Visa update

Camila and I had hoped to see an approval on her visa in 2007. Well THAT didn't happen. So now we've been tracking the updates on www.visajourney.com of other visa applicants to get a idea of when her visa is going to be approved. Here's what we're seeing...



NOT FOR A FRIGGIN' LONG-@@S DAG-NABBID TIME!!!!!



Ahh, now that I've got that off my chest, let me tell you that we're trying to stay positive and not see USCIS as DEMONS FROM HELL. Although that's really tough when you see them grant worker visas in 2 weeks, and spousal visas to said workers in 6 weeks, but they make US citizens wait an interminably long time with NO information until you magically pop out of the approval process.

So rather than remain the starry-eyed newly weds we were 5 months ago when I eagerly submitted her visa application with high hopes that a miracle and positive thinking would bring my wife home in 2007, I'm now going to take the more practicle approach of accepting the "worst-case scenario" as what is most likely to happen, given the fact that demons from hell are processing my case, and most of those demons didn't attend college. In fact, when you call the immigration customer support line, you can tell that most of them are, themselves, immigrants. If you don't believe me, call 1-800-375-5283 (then hit menus 1, 2, 4, 0) and see for yourself.

Worst case scenario, my wife will be in the US in early MAY, 2008. (Keep in mind I'm doing my darndest to see the upside in this....)

Here's why:


It's Jan 2008. Let's say, just for giggles, that our visa approval is granted by February, since that's the "estimate" that a demon gave me.

After approval, it's supposed to take 2 weeks for our case to be forwarded to the National Visa Center. Ahh but according to those who just went through this, it's taking 4-6 weeks. Why? Because Immigration demons wait until a trailer fills before they send off the applications. So even though you've been approved, the NVC won't hear about your case until a bajillion others are ready too.

That puts us out unitl March...

Then it takes the NVC 3-4 weeks to send your case to the Consolate (in our case that's in Rio de Janiero).

That puts us out until April...

Then the consolate sends Camila some papers, which takes 1 week, and they call her to schedule her interview, blessed interview. Interviews are generally scheduled 3-5 weeks out.

That puts us out to May....



So there you have it. If you believe in miracles, or that demons belong in dark chambers in the netherworld and should be replaced with smart kind people, then please keep us in your prayers/well-wishes.