Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Verbal photo #2

Here's another verbal photo. I'm trying my hand at writing by creating photos with words, painting pictures that form in my mind. It's a little nerve-wracking posting these for public scrutiny. So take it for what it is, amateur writing. Actually.. an attempt at amateur writing!

The moving truck

The moving truck sat on the side of the road, sighing into the chilly night. If you didn't know better you'd say it was bored. A thousand families moved, a thousand nights just like this one, sitting under a lone street lamp, while a family loads its worldly possessions into a 14' x 10' canister.

The air inside the dark compartment of the truck held a hint of history. The dust that had collected on the floor wanted to tell you interesting stories about the families that had left it behind. However they weren't well remembered, these families. The truck remembered them only as a sequence. And tonight would be no different. Tonight's family was number eleven hundred and fourteen. There was nothing special about the house it sat in front of, or the contents now tucked neatly in it's cavernous belly. Nothing particularly noteworthy at all, for the truck.

It was quite a different story for the lone straggler standing inside the giant metal container. He was looking sadly at the neat columns of boxes and the tetris-like precision of household goods stacked on top of each other. They were all packed into a near-perfect cube, barely visible by the dim light of the streetlamp. None of it held any value for this visitor. Although all of it together was priceless. A representation of two and a half years of rewarding friendship.

As he hefted himself down from the back of the truck, he looked up the steep driveway and could see the family he had come to help, standing tired now in the lit garage, sorting the last niggling things as night weighed heavily on all of them. To most others the scene in the garage would be a forgettable one. But to our visitor it was something special. These were his good friends.

Muted voices floated down the driveway and rolled to a stop near his feet. He realized he may never again see these friends, who so quickly became important to him. And who will so quickly be gone.

He's happy for them, of course. He always is. But inside, a feeling of irreplaceability stretches from his gut, into his throat, where it forms a lump that he can't ignore. He tries to shake it off, but not before the moisture in his eyes finds its way onto his sleeve. He wants to rush up the driveway and grab them all in a heartfelt hug.

Instead, he turns to the moving truck, and with an acquiescent sigh, considers that perhaps it knows best how to deal with these things.




7 friends had this to say...:

Darilyn said...

Dustin, great, now I'm starting my day off with some tears! It's difficult to lose good friends. We are left wondering what will replace that hole left in our heart. My heart has ached for the loss of a good friend before and I hate it but then again, i'm so grateful to have had that person in my life, even if but for a short time.

Mom said...

That was well done. I didn't know where exactly to put my sympathies; with the family, the friend or the truck. Good job.
Mom

Kara said...

I'm Don Carey's wife and I just found your blog today. Love it! Congrats on having Camila here with you. What a charming couple you make! Keep up the blogging. I really like your page. About the writing -- pretty good. Don goes to a local writer's group that meets every 2 weeks and loves it. Maybe you have one in your area. Might be fun.

Rachael said...

I can just see you standing there at the truck at the bottom of Mahina and Mich's driveway. I will miss them too. Great writing!!

Elizabeth said...

Lester spent many an hour in that truck, but I don't think he got quite as much out of the experience as you did. :-)

Seriously, I like how you didn't just take a verbal picture, but your observations actually tell a story. That is the sign of a good writer, IMHO. Keep it up!

Amber said...

Hey, cow-boy. That is some great writing there. Seriously, I am excited to see yet another talent you have uncovered. I have experienced that very story myself many times, more than I could count. Once or twice it was for you. Hope you know how much you (and now Camila) are loved.

Tell us some more pictures, okay?

Mahina said...

wow! is that about us or are the similarities just a coincidence? either way, it is very well written!

if it is about us, the freindship is equally rewarding for us! thank you for all of your help throughout the years. thank you for loving our girls like they were family. and thank you for the awesome river adventure you provided for our family and my siblings! thanks for sharing so many meals with our family.

we will always remember you and your lovely wife camila! and don't think you got rid of us completely. you may just see us again! mitch is in oregon all week!and there is always the blog!